The past weekend was kind of crazy. My brother Josh was in a car accident. The cop said he was lucky to be alive. He didn't have many injuries either just some cuts on his head, but he is very lucky that's all that happened to him. I'm glad he's okay. My dad and Brandon took him to the hospital on Saturday since Josh wouldn't go Friday night after the accident. The doctor couldn't do much for the cut on his head because most of the skin of the dead by the time he got there. I think he's going to see a surgeon to see if he can do something about it so he doesn't end up with a massive scar. It wasn't exactly a great start to Father's Day weekend for my dad, but I think Father's Day, itself, was a good day for my dad. Today was a bad day for my dad though. A shipment worth about $9000 has been lost so that doesn't bode well for the company neither do other certain aspects I don't know much about. I don't think my dad is going to be able to put much money towards my college tuition which is fine I never really expected him to anyways, but I also expected to have more financial aid and stuff like that. I don't know what I'm going to do at this point. I suppose I'll just starve through college.
Monday, June 22, 2015
Friday, June 19, 2015
Ranting Lunatic
I had dinner with my mom last night. It was the usual debacle that it normally is. Before the night had turned to a disaster she gave me $200 to pay for my textbooks for college. I left it on her front porch after she locked me out of her house. I didn't really want it in the first place. It felt wrong after she treated me like a five year old which is why I left it at her house. Apparently, I hurt her by doing so which I'm happy I did. I guess being happy at my own mother's pain isn't what I should feel, but I don't really know what to feel anymore. She plays so many mind games with me that I can never figure out what in the world I should do. I was second guessing myself today on whether or not I should have kept the money because I really do need it. On the other hand I don't want money from someone who can tell me I'm an intelligent, talented, young woman, and I'm dumb ass who has been manipulated by my dad in one night. I'm at a loss as to what to do. Sure, I'd love it if my mom was normal, and she'd do the things with me that most moms do, but how the hell can I expect that from her without her later telling me how awful of human being I am? Every time she invites me over for dinner after she's gone months without talking to me I think maybe she's changed, but I know deep down she's never going to change. I just wish for once I could count on her to not make everything about her or about what a manipulative bastard my dad is. I want to get it through that thick skull of hers that she is the one who is messed up, not my dad, not my brothers, and not me. She is the problem, but she will never realize that. She told me today she's changed her email, and she's getting a new phone number, so I will never be able to contact her. I guess that's probably for the best anyways. I told her I was disappointed she still would have my number. That's not what I actually think, but who cares anymore? It doesn't matter. She won't be contacting me for probably another four years or better. She might come around when I graduate college, but how she'll know I'm graduating is beyond me. Although she does find out the most random things about people.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Morning Dog Sickness
It's week two of my summer vacation. I have attempted to clean my room twice, and it still looks roughly the same it did before I started to clean it. Although now I have put my winter clothes in a suitcase because I'm not going to need them until I go to college in the fall. It hasn't really hit me yet that I'm going to college. Probably has something to do with the fact that I'm still not sure how I'm going to even pay for it.
Yesterday morning my wonderful dog that I love dearly threw up all over my bed. It would have been better if she had been sleeping at the foot of the bed, but she was sleeping right by my head. I ended up laying in it. I woke up at 4:00 AM to this splendid surprise. I had to wash her off as well as myself, and I had to put my sheets in the washer and throw away my pillow. I was supposed to get another pillow when I was at the store today, but I forgot as well as the Thank you cards I need to send out to everyone who gave me money for graduating. I tried to fall asleep on the couch after this whole fiasco, but my other delightful pet would not stop barking at whatever was going on outside. After my dad woke up did we discover that there was actually something not quite right with my dog that threw up everywhere. She couldn't walk straight, it was like she was drunk. It was kind of funny to watch try to run up the stairs. Since we had to go to work, my dad had Brandon and his girlfriend make sure she was alright and take her to the vet to get some fluids. She was much better when we picked her up later that day. My mom called me yesterday to figure out what time for dinner on Thursday. She clearly doesn't realize that the purpose of texting is so you don't have to make a phone call for simple little things like that.
Yesterday morning my wonderful dog that I love dearly threw up all over my bed. It would have been better if she had been sleeping at the foot of the bed, but she was sleeping right by my head. I ended up laying in it. I woke up at 4:00 AM to this splendid surprise. I had to wash her off as well as myself, and I had to put my sheets in the washer and throw away my pillow. I was supposed to get another pillow when I was at the store today, but I forgot as well as the Thank you cards I need to send out to everyone who gave me money for graduating. I tried to fall asleep on the couch after this whole fiasco, but my other delightful pet would not stop barking at whatever was going on outside. After my dad woke up did we discover that there was actually something not quite right with my dog that threw up everywhere. She couldn't walk straight, it was like she was drunk. It was kind of funny to watch try to run up the stairs. Since we had to go to work, my dad had Brandon and his girlfriend make sure she was alright and take her to the vet to get some fluids. She was much better when we picked her up later that day. My mom called me yesterday to figure out what time for dinner on Thursday. She clearly doesn't realize that the purpose of texting is so you don't have to make a phone call for simple little things like that.
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Graduation Day
Guess what? I finally graduated. "High school, how'd you do it?" The real question is how'd I manage not to majorly injure someone in the four years I was crowded in with a too small school for the amount of people that were in it. The building reached its maximum capacity every year. I don't feel any different just relieved that it's finally over. My mom did end up coming to the ceremony I was slightly surprised she did. She'd told me a few months back she might not come, so I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. I didn't go on my class trip which is perfectly fine with me I didn't really want to be stuck with those people for over 12 hours that's so extremely suffocating to me that I think I would have gone insane. Especially since they were going somewhere that was extremely boring. The only thing to do was swim, and I have too many self esteem issues to be seen in a swim suit in front of those people.
I did wind up with a total of about $385 from various people in the community and my family. I also received a set of luggage as well as a coffeemaker with coffee. I did better than I was expecting in the gift department of graduation. I haven't gotten my pillowcases from my aunt, but she'll probably give them to me during family rafting weekend. I know she's made them because she asked me what my school colors were, and everyone else has gotten the same thing from her. It will be nice to not have to wash my pillowcases that often. Plus she always gets cool fabric that has to do with your interests. They are always very thoughtful. So now the only things I'm going to need are a rain jacket, sheets, bedding, and towels. Also don't forget I need to somehow magically cover the rest of my tuition for the next four years.
I did wind up with a total of about $385 from various people in the community and my family. I also received a set of luggage as well as a coffeemaker with coffee. I did better than I was expecting in the gift department of graduation. I haven't gotten my pillowcases from my aunt, but she'll probably give them to me during family rafting weekend. I know she's made them because she asked me what my school colors were, and everyone else has gotten the same thing from her. It will be nice to not have to wash my pillowcases that often. Plus she always gets cool fabric that has to do with your interests. They are always very thoughtful. So now the only things I'm going to need are a rain jacket, sheets, bedding, and towels. Also don't forget I need to somehow magically cover the rest of my tuition for the next four years.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Detonator Yellow
TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!! I NEVER EVER HAVE TO GO BACK, except for graduation. The day I get to leave this town is the closest it's ever been, and I cannot wait! Of course, I will still return home during breaks and such, but I will not have to live here full time ever again. I am no longer a high school student. This is what I have been waiting for, since I was about 8 years old. Now the only thing I have to wait for today is for my dad to get home, so we can go eat. I'm so hungry right now, and I am not entirely sure why since I had donuts during school today, but I guess that was four hours ago.
My dad bought a new car over the weekend to replace the Xterra that he gave away because of the whole tires not staying on the car. The guy he gave it to didn't seem to mind that there has been two incidents where the tires have not stayed on the car like a normal operating vehicle. He said he just wanted something to drive to the grocery store, so it wouldn't be a complete disaster if the tire falls off as he's going 25 miles an hour. My dad ended up buying a Jeep Wrangler this time. The color of the new vehicle is called, "Detonator Yellow." The other night my dad was talking about the color of the car and ended up saying something about Jesus along the lines of, "Jesus has blue eyes and six pack abs." I said," And 'Detonator Yellow' hair," because my dad always says that the baby Jesus had blue eyes and blonde hair due to the line in the movie, "Talladega Nights."
My dad bought a new car over the weekend to replace the Xterra that he gave away because of the whole tires not staying on the car. The guy he gave it to didn't seem to mind that there has been two incidents where the tires have not stayed on the car like a normal operating vehicle. He said he just wanted something to drive to the grocery store, so it wouldn't be a complete disaster if the tire falls off as he's going 25 miles an hour. My dad ended up buying a Jeep Wrangler this time. The color of the new vehicle is called, "Detonator Yellow." The other night my dad was talking about the color of the car and ended up saying something about Jesus along the lines of, "Jesus has blue eyes and six pack abs." I said," And 'Detonator Yellow' hair," because my dad always says that the baby Jesus had blue eyes and blonde hair due to the line in the movie, "Talladega Nights."
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