Peacocks, Pills, and Parents

This past week has been pretty eventful in a way. On Wednesday night, I got super drunk and took some Oxycotin which I regretted the next day because I can't remember if I added this guy on Facebook and then cancelled the request which would be awkward because I've never actually talked to this guy he was just someone from my school that I find attractive. Also the next day I was super shaky and almost threw up. I ended up hanging out with Tianna that day, and I told her this story from when I was a little kid. If I remember right I was probably only about four years old when my family decided to get some peacocks, this was when we lived out in the middle of nowhere with a huge yard, but no land. Anyways, we were in our truck, and my brothers were holding onto the peacocks. When we got home, my parents told my brothers to make sure they had a good grip on the peacocks because the doors to the truck were going to open. My parents open the door, and out fly the peacocks except the babies. My parents chased after the peacocks, but they weren't able to get them. I remember for the longest time we had peacocks just sitting in the field by our house, and somedays they would be in the trees of our yard. I don't know what ended up happening to any of the peacocks, but I do know that one night when we came home my dad was driving. We pulled into the driveway, and we see a possum in our yard. Instead of parking the car my dad starts to speed up. He chases the possum through our yard in the car until he leaves. He was disappointed in the end because he was trying to kill it. 

On Friday, my dad and I were at the bank together when we started talking about my brother, Josh. I was saying I was concerned for him because of his problems with substance abuse, and as usual my dad just brushed off saying he thinks Josh is doing just fine. He also said that Josh needs a nice woman in his life because apparently she will solve all his problems. He then proceeded to ask me when I was going to find myself a nice man. I told him I was going to be like Coco Chanel and never get married. He didn't say anything to that, but it made me mad that he expects me to find a man and settle down after all these years of him telling me that marriage and having children was for boring people. So I guess he wants me to do what everybody does regardless of what I want. I let it go at the time because we were going to see The Avett Brothers, but if he brings it up again I might say something more about it. 

Also The Avett Brothers concert was absolutely amazing like they always are. I love those guys so much I wish I could spend the rest of my life following them around. They make me so happy. 

Chenowith Flu

For the past week and a half I have been sick. I haven't been this sick since I worked at this day care the summer before my senior year. I got sick from Brandon's son, and then I proceeded to get my dad sick. I got a sinus infection on this past Wednesday and it went finally went away today. I'm almost over all of it except today I had a little bit of a cough and my voice gave out on me a few times today. When my dad was sick, I'm pretty Sharron gave him Jack Daniel's at 8 in the morning she called it, "cough medicine." He was pretty loopy saying he had a face cancer, and the only way to get better was to give him meth because he had the Chenowith Flu. According to him if you have the, "Chenowith Flu," you need meth to feel better. Luckily, meth was completely unnecessary to get over this flu. Although if it had persisted for much longer I might have been willing to try it that's how terrible I felt.
In other news, I found out I did not get the campus apartment I wanted for next year, so I have to live in the dorms for one quarter, and then hopefully if I can find a place, I can move into my own apartment. My mom is hopefully going to give me her car since she's moving to the Marshall Islands for two years. She's also going to give me some furniture and kitchen items which will be useful. I'm really nervous about this upcoming year because I'll need to apply to my major at some point, find a job, find a place to live, have a new orchestra conductor, and get a better handle on what the fuck I'm doing with my life because I have absolutely no idea. I just need to stop thinking about all this stuff right now though. I should be focusing on the fact that in five days I'm going to see the AVETT BROTHERS for the third time. I love them so much, and their new album. They truly are the most amazing band of all time. I'm sorry, Dad, even though you're not reading this, but Bruce isn't my favorite musician of all time, Scott Avett is. 

A Good Last Day

This year's Fourth of July will be one I never forget. It started out with me going to work while my family went rafting, and I was at work until 3:30 after Nick decided it was an acceptable time for us to leave. After work I went to the BBQ Brandon and his girlfriend were having at their house. I was only there for a little bit to see Josh before he drove him and my nephew. I went up to my friend Tianna's house to see her and another one of my friends. The two of them had to leave at 9, so I went back to Brandon's house to watch the fireworks with him, his girlfriend, and my nephew. I ended up getting home around 11, and my dad was still up. He'd been waiting for me to get home. I went to my room, and I heard him call my name. At first I thought I was in trouble, but for what I had no idea. When I walked into the living room he told my dad Tweakers had died after they got home from the BBQ at Brandon's house. He was laying in his bed, and he stopped breathing. My dad buried him in the backyard before I got home. The next day we went and bought some flowers to plant around his grave. My dog was ten years old when he died. He was the most loyal dog. All year he would run away from my dad's house to my brother's or my mom's looking for me. I'm going to miss him. I was planning on getting an apartment so he could come live with me, but I guess that's not going to happen now. I'm just glad he got to see my whole family one last time and chewed on a rib bone on his last day. I think he had a good last day. 

Time Machine Needed

So it's been about ten days since I've been home, and honestly I cannot wait to go back already. This is going to be a very long summer I can tell. Mostly because there's almost always someone here except for maybe a couple of hours on my day off other than that people are here constantly. I really miss when it was just my dad and me living here, and I would have quite a bit of time to myself most days. Although I'm thinking about going to Idaho for fourth of July weekend with one of my friends which could be nice. At least it will give me a break from being home for a couple of days. I'm tired of everyone at work and at my house, and it's not even July yet. Someone please get me a time machine so I can skip past these three awful months. At least the Avett Brothers' album is coming out this Friday. I also should check to see if my grades for last quarter have been posted yet. They hadn't posted grades yet last week, so it's possible they've done it by now. 

The Countdowns Begin

Last weekend, I got to see Everclear which was really fun and amazing. I've been listening to Everclear my whole life, and I have always loved that song, "Wonderful," as well as many others but "Wonderful" was kind of the anthem of my childhood. Art Alexakis has always been one of my favorite musicians, but he's one of the few that I actually idolize as a person. He has overcome so much in his life that it's incredibly inspiring. I think he's the greatest musician to have come out of Portland, and he's definitely in my top three favorite as well as Bruce Springsteen and Scott Avett. Speaking of, Scott Avett, I cannot wait for the Avett Brothers' new album to come out. It's only 9 MORE DAYS until it's released. I also get to go see them in concert in July which I'm completely stoked for as well. There are so many exciting things going on in music that I'm ecstatic. I really can't wait until I'm a part of all of it. Someday, someone will be looking forward to something I recorded or something that I helped record, depending on what I end up doing. Either way someday someone will be anxiously awaiting a concert or an album or anything else that I may have taken part in creating, and that's honestly an exhilarating thought. I don't want to be famous I just want to make an impact somehow, and music will be the way I get to do that, and I can't wait. 

Coming Home

I finished finals, packed up my stuff, and now I'm home. It's safe to say that it's going to be a very long next three months. I've been awake for an hour now, and I can't tell if no one is here or if everyone is in their rooms being really quiet. It's kind of creepy. I'm pretty sure everyone has heard me get up, but that's because I had to do laundry and shower. Also showering was weird I got into the shower, and thought something doesn't seem right that's when I realized that I didn't have flip flops on to shower. I don't need to wear flip flops here to shower. It was strange actually being bare foot in the shower. Although it was nice to shower in a bathroom by yourself, same with not having to go to the bathroom in a stall, or having to brush my teeth at a sink with someone next to you brushing her teeth. I also have a room to myself even if it is full of my stuff from my dorm room. I don't have a grumpy roommate coming in and out of the door constantly while I'm trying to sleep or slamming the door while I'm sleeping or slamming the window shut. I only have my dog, P-Knut to share my room with. I did have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep at first last night that's why I slept for so long today. I need to look on the bright side this summer though. I'm going to an Everclear concert tomorrow, The Avett Brothers are releasing an album in two weeks, going to the Avett Brothers concert in July, going to a Wilco concert in September, and The Head and the Heart are releasing an album in September, so it's going to be a good summer for music even if I'm stuck at home. This way I get to listen to all of it without being interrupted by homework or school or anything else. Although I do have to work, but oh well. It's going to be a great summer, for sure....... Ok it might be a bearable summer. 

Simple Life

Well, it's week 9 of the quarter which means in 17 days I'm going home. I'm not really excited about going home mostly because I never know what to expect when I go back. Last time I came home another person was living there. This time I'm pretty sure I'm going home to a different house because I think my dad bought a new house, but I'm not entirely sure. He hasn't really told me, so I guess I'll find it when I go home. Also when I get back my dad is only home for a week before he leaves for Denmark. I'm going to be alone for at least two weeks which is fine but it's kind of weird. Sometimes, I wonder what goes through my dad's head. Not to mention I feel more confused about who I am and what I want to be then I did at the beginning of the year. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted when I came here, but now I'm not so sure. I have no idea at all what I want. I don't feel like I have what it takes to be a musician or do any of the things I originally wanted to do. I might as well just go back home get a crappy job and live there. There's really nothing wrong with that, and it's simpler life that way. It's possible to live on a minimum wage job there, and over time I'd get promoted or something. I could live like that. All I'd have to do is get knocked up by the guy I'd be dating, and then I'd be just like everyone else there. It wouldn't be so bad. I could even say I tried to do something with my life and failed, and then I'd still have a leg up on everyone there. I'm sure I'd have less anxiety that way. I probably wouldn't be happy, but then again who really is.