Well, it's week 9 of the quarter which means in 17 days I'm going home. I'm not really excited about going home mostly because I never know what to expect when I go back. Last time I came home another person was living there. This time I'm pretty sure I'm going home to a different house because I think my dad bought a new house, but I'm not entirely sure. He hasn't really told me, so I guess I'll find it when I go home. Also when I get back my dad is only home for a week before he leaves for Denmark. I'm going to be alone for at least two weeks which is fine but it's kind of weird. Sometimes, I wonder what goes through my dad's head. Not to mention I feel more confused about who I am and what I want to be then I did at the beginning of the year. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted when I came here, but now I'm not so sure. I have no idea at all what I want. I don't feel like I have what it takes to be a musician or do any of the things I originally wanted to do. I might as well just go back home get a crappy job and live there. There's really nothing wrong with that, and it's simpler life that way. It's possible to live on a minimum wage job there, and over time I'd get promoted or something. I could live like that. All I'd have to do is get knocked up by the guy I'd be dating, and then I'd be just like everyone else there. It wouldn't be so bad. I could even say I tried to do something with my life and failed, and then I'd still have a leg up on everyone there. I'm sure I'd have less anxiety that way. I probably wouldn't be happy, but then again who really is.
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