An Eventful Day (to say the least)

So my day has been pretty weird and is still going to keep being super weird. It all started this morning when I had a cup of coffee and had to take a really huge poop. The unfortunate part about this was it was at 9:40, and the plumber was coming to our house at 10. Also I should mention we just moved, and the plumber was coming to plumb our fridge so it would produce magical cold water from the door. So here I am 20 minutes before the plumber comes taking the world's biggest dump on the toilet. I actually finish at about 9:53, but I have a new problem, our bathroom does not have a fan, and the kitchen is near the bathroom, close enough that you can smell everything emanating from the bathroom. Once I realize this, I immediately begin to run around the house looking for perfume or some sort of Febreze or anything that will make the air not smell like crap. I have two things going against me, one being I don't know where any of the cleaning supplies are in the new house, and two none of the females in this house have any perfume. I end up finding this cheap ass body spray that my mom gave me for Christmas a few years ago that I'm 99% sure she bought at the Dollar Store. Unfortunately, when I go to spray the stuff, it doesn't come out in a nice spray instead it comes out in droplets all over the floor. So I end up grabbing bathroom cleaner and spraying it into the air. It's not even 10 yet, and the kitchen doesn't smell like poop so I felt successful. It turns out the plumber didn't even get here until 10:17 anyways so I didn't even need to stress out so much. Although I was stressed about the fact that they weren't going to be before I needed to leave the house at 11 to go with Tianna to hang out while she did her errands. As 10:40 approaches I come up with a plan, I decide to sneak out of the house through the window of my parents' bedroom, so the plumbers won't know I left. The plumbers were gone at this time to go get the proper tools so I took my purse and my shoes and put them by the window in my parents' room. I then return to my bedroom to wait. At 11, I go to the bathroom and pass the plumbers who are under the sink, I decide that after I'm done peeing I will escape through the window which is what I did. I run around the back of the house and go to the park by my house to wait for Tianna to pick me up.
Later, we come back to my house, and I give Tianna a tour of the house. We decide to look for a tape measure to see how big I should get my tattoo when I find a lighter, and I tell Tianna how I've been finding lighters a lot recently, and how I think someone in my house is smoking weed. We proceed to search my parents' bedroom to see if there's any weed amongst their things. We don't find any, so we decide to search my step sister's room to see if there's any in her room. After we've almost given up I realize her backpack is sitting on her floor and we haven't looked through it yet. We open her backpack, and on top is a metal lunchbox, we open the lunchbox, and inside... there is a pipe, old roaches, and a pack of cigerattes. She also had crushed up can that she had used as a pipe. Unfortunately, we didn't find any weed, so we have decided that tonight once everyone is asleep we are going to search her car.