Past, Present, and Future

"I'm scared of what's behind and what's before," has to be one of my favorite song lyrics written by Marcus Mumford. It's one hundred percent accurate for me, because I don't like thinking about my past, and my future is completely undecided. I know that being a junior in high school I should have something figured out for college, but I don't have a clue about where or what I want to do for college. Everyone has their own idea of what they want me to do, but I don't want to do what they want. I want to go somewhere far away, but I'm not sure if I'm up for that challenge. I've never lived anywhere besides the place I live now, and it's really small. A big city will be so different compared to where I live, and yet I don't seem to care. I still want to try, because I'm afraid if I don't I won't ever leave here. If I don't leave here I'll go insane due to my family that is insane. I don't like my past, present, and the future is unknown. I hope the future will be better, and I can try to make the best out of the present but that's all I can do.