Christmas in a Nutshell

It's funny looking back on the posts that I wrote last year. In so many ways I'm much the same, but I'm different too. I've grown up a little. I have less anger about myself. I can now laugh at the experiences I've had in my life. I still feel like I have a void inside me, but I think that will always be there. Same with the darkness inside me. I'm starting to realize that there are others out there who have darkness inside them too at least the characters on TV do. I think the people in this life who aren't boring are the ones who have a darkness inside. It all stems from a dysfunctional family I think. I spent the last four days with my dysfunctional family. It wasn't too bad I've had worse Christmases, but sometimes I wish that my brothers weren't such assholes. The two of them combined have always made me feel like I don't belong. I think the only person who kind of does make me feel like I belong is my dad because we share the same interest in music. I have the ability to create music while my dad has the ability to appreciate good music.
These past few days, I understood just how ready I am to move on with my life. I already have been accepted to my top choice for college and received a scholarship from that same school. So I already have at least a quarter of my college paid for as long as I keep my grades up. I still have to audition which will hopefully get me more money plus there's more scholarships I can apply for. Hopefully, by the time I'm ready to go I'll have most of it paid for. My dad said after all my scholarships and I still have about $4,000 left, that he'd pay the rest of it. It will probably piss of my brothers but who cares. There's only one of me in college, and my dad has more money now so it will be easier. Also, I actually have an interest in going unlike my brothers. They both were put on probation in college and almost dropped out. I have worked hard to be able to go to a nice school. Ooh and my dad informed me that the new studio that they're building should be finished in January. I can't wait! I was hoping it would be finished while I was there but now it will be finished in a month. It's going to be so exciting being able to record in a brand new studio or at least learn everything about music technology in a new studio.