New Year's Woe

I'd say I have a New Year's resolution, but it's not really. I decided I need to get in shape (such a cliche resolution anyways) before I go off to college since I have a pretty good idea of where I'm going to go. I will most likely be moving to the city for college which absolutely terrifies me. Never have I ever lived in a city. I've lived in the same county my entire life and it's population is less than a city. My county has approximately 25,000 people living in it. Where I want to go to college has about oh 652,000 people that's over 25 times as many people. I'm going to have my handy dandy pepper spray though thanks to my dad who's been obsessing over where I keep it. I have it in my room because I don't need to take it to school with me where there are only a thousand people, and none of them hate me as far as I know or have a desire to attack me. Besides the hallways are too damn crowded for that type of thing to happen. Unless, we have a school shooter in which case my pepper spray would be completely useless. My sophomore year they did find a shell for some sort of a gun I don't remember what exactly. They cancelled the assembly and the dance that week right before Christmas Break, but they didn't cancel school. My dad told me to stay home from school that day because he thought it was stupid that they weren't cancelling school and figured it wasn't really important for me to go that day anyways. I heard that hardly anyone was there. There was probably five people for each class that day. They also had policemen patrolling the school that day as well. So you see they might as well have cancelled school.
Anyways, the reason why I'm trying to get in shape is so that I have a better chance of getting out of a situation if need be. My mom once told me some really high percentage of women that get sexually assaulted by the time they're forty. I was probably 10 years old when she told me this. The likelihood of me being sexually assaulted at the age were very slim except during the summer time when I was around guys in their twenties quite a bit. My mom worked for a whitewater rafting company, and all their guides were in their twenties and were almost always hungover. All they did was drink and do drugs, but that was after work of course. My brother recently told me that some of the guides would say shit like, "Cynthia's daughter is so hot," little did they know they were talking to my brother who would get pissed off because I was waaay too young for them so it was extremely creepy that they would even think that. Now I think I know why I'm so screwed up when it comes to guys. My mom either made me paranoid that they were going to rape me or surrounded me with creeps that she thought were normal. That's some good parenting right there.

Christmas in a Nutshell

It's funny looking back on the posts that I wrote last year. In so many ways I'm much the same, but I'm different too. I've grown up a little. I have less anger about myself. I can now laugh at the experiences I've had in my life. I still feel like I have a void inside me, but I think that will always be there. Same with the darkness inside me. I'm starting to realize that there are others out there who have darkness inside them too at least the characters on TV do. I think the people in this life who aren't boring are the ones who have a darkness inside. It all stems from a dysfunctional family I think. I spent the last four days with my dysfunctional family. It wasn't too bad I've had worse Christmases, but sometimes I wish that my brothers weren't such assholes. The two of them combined have always made me feel like I don't belong. I think the only person who kind of does make me feel like I belong is my dad because we share the same interest in music. I have the ability to create music while my dad has the ability to appreciate good music.
These past few days, I understood just how ready I am to move on with my life. I already have been accepted to my top choice for college and received a scholarship from that same school. So I already have at least a quarter of my college paid for as long as I keep my grades up. I still have to audition which will hopefully get me more money plus there's more scholarships I can apply for. Hopefully, by the time I'm ready to go I'll have most of it paid for. My dad said after all my scholarships and I still have about $4,000 left, that he'd pay the rest of it. It will probably piss of my brothers but who cares. There's only one of me in college, and my dad has more money now so it will be easier. Also, I actually have an interest in going unlike my brothers. They both were put on probation in college and almost dropped out. I have worked hard to be able to go to a nice school. Ooh and my dad informed me that the new studio that they're building should be finished in January. I can't wait! I was hoping it would be finished while I was there but now it will be finished in a month. It's going to be so exciting being able to record in a brand new studio or at least learn everything about music technology in a new studio.

Snowflakes in the Hall

Yesterday, at school the staff put every student's name on a snowflake and put the snowflakes on the halls around the entire school. You would not believe how much time everyone spent looking for their names. I swear it was like watching little kids on an Easter egg hunt. One of my friends found mine. We're supposed to take our snowflake down when we find them, but I told my friends I'm going to leave mine up so it's the last one. It was rumored that we get a prize if we turn our snowflakes, but no one was certain about that.
Apparently, we get a Christmas card in the mail every year from these people we don't know. The card is intended for the people who lived here previously, but they moved out three years ago. My dad looked at the card this year and said, "Hey, that kid is new," so I guess they've had a baby since last year. He made other comments too like, "The kids look so much older than last year." This is coming from the man who couldn't figure out that I was walking with the same girl out of the school for a whole week. He has a slight condition of, "face blindness," I swear.

2048

I was playing the game 2048 over the weekend. I often play that game when I'm bored or waiting in line. My dad noticed me playing 2048 for the first time this weekend which I found odd considering I've had the game since last school year. He kept asking to play the game on my phone, but I was in the middle of a round and didn't want to hand it over until I lost. I finally let him play, and afterwards he decided to get the game on his phone. He played 2048 all yesterday. He got up around 10:00 played the game until around 5:00 taking only a half hour break. Today, he texted me saying he put the game on his iPad, so everyone would think he was doing inventory. I told him he needs to stop playing that game or else he'd have to go to the AA meetings across the street.

Too Much Peopling

I don't know about the rest of the schools in the country, but my school decided to have the entire week of Thanksgiving off. Normally, we go to school Monday and Tuesday and have the rest of the week off but not this year. No, apparently, we need a whole week to spend time with our stupid families. Luckily for me, I don't have to see anyone until tomorrow. My dad said that this year we're going to stay longer than every other year. I am very disappointed to hear this.. I don't like being stuck in my grandma's house with twenty or so other people. It gets really warm really fast. Not to mention I don't really feel like stuffing my face with food for a whole day. I'm in the business of being healthier and hopefully will lose some weight. I don't want to eat so much food that will make me fat.
The good news is that I don't have to suffer through a Christmas party being held at my house. My dad and his girlfriend were planning on having a party with everyone from the office at our house. I was not excited about that because that would require me to socialize with more people. My dad said I could have helped his girlfriend make the food which probably would have been my best bet, but I still would have had to eat with everyone else. I suggested that I eat upstairs since I table could fit everyone but me. He said they would add a little card table one the end for me. Instead of doing all that it's not going to happen because the party is not going to take place. Yay for me!

That One Guy

I went to a concert the other night with my dad, Sharron, and her daughter. We went to see the Hard Working Americans because of Todd Snider. It was a good concert but the air in there was incredibly un breathable. The size of the venue was small to begin with and combined with the people smoking weed and dry ice my throat was dry all night. I had a hard time talking the next morning.
Anyways, there's always that one guy at a concert who happens to be a huge asshole. That guy also was kind of a creep. After the opening band my dad and I were standing waiting for the concert. Sharron and her daughter were in front of us. This guy started leaning on me. At first I thought he just bumped into me, but when I moved away he kept leaning on me. My dad says, "hey do you mind?" He turns around walks to stand right in front of me. I didn't know what to do so I just took a step back, and he still is just standing there. My dad starts getting pissed off and starts yelling at the guy. The two of them are arguing when Sharron turns around. She realizes what's going and stands between the guy in me. Her daughter moves behind her. Sharron starts fighting with the guy as well after myy dad pushed him. Sharron pushes the guy a couple times too. Finally, the guy leaves us alone. My dad said to me, "Sharron was like Amico barking at Rocky." Rocky is a big lab that got scared of my little toy poodle Amico. Later in the middle of the show the guy gets kicked out after multiple people complaining about him. When we were leaving the parking garage we saw that guy and his buddy just standing there.

Lockdown Groper

The other day I was in health class when over the intercom our secretary told us it was time for a lockdown drill. Our teacher said we should hide behind the two projector screens. We did as we were told. He then proceeded to turn off the lights which left us in complete darkness since the classroom is in the basement of the school with no windows. Now this provided an awkard situation. Twenty students, male and female, pressed against each other in the dark out of sight from the teacher. Unfortunately I was packed next to two guys and a girl. One of the guys groped my sides. Now I know you might think this was an accident, but I can tell a simple brush across the side compared to a feel up of the female waist. This groping can be disguised as an attempt to tickle the female subject as a cover for what is ultimately being accomplished. I was "tickled" on both of my sides and can only assume the source from whence it came. I think it was a guy I have been conversing since the beginning of the year. He and I have two classes together and we sit next to one another in both of them. I have a sneaking suspicion that he likes me and that could make things awkard for future encounters.