Last Friday, I went with Becky and Dennis to Gasworks Park and to see the Fremont Troll. We walked there from campus, and I told them a bunch of stories about the loser guys that liked me in high school. At one point, Becky asked me about my boyfriend, and I said in response that I didn't want to talk about him because my best friend's mom wanted to give me a brochure about abusive relationships when I was with him. It's true she did want to give me one, but I think my friend stopped her which I'm actually really glad she did because I probably would have cried if that had happened. I just felt extremely awkward after saying that especially since Dennis was there. Maybe if Natasha had been there it wouldn't have been so awkward, but I don't really know.
Saturday, while I was work Natasha and Dennis came to see me at work like they normally do, but this time they were meeting Dennis' mom there which was pretty awkward too. I didn't know what to do because I was still supposed to be working, and I didn't know what to say to anybody, so I just kept doing my usual prepping for closing routine. I noticed how much his mom seemed to like Natasha, and I couldn't help but think how Natasha is the type of girl that can meet a guy's family and they are going to love her. I, on the other hand, am not that type of girl. I'm not the type of girl a guy brings home to meet his family. I just don't have all those fantastic girlfriend qualities that so many girls seem to have. I'm just kind of there. I don't know how to be that dream girl for someone. It's weird because I haven't thought about this kind of thing for a long time, but now I can't stop thinking about it. It's lame I know, but I can't help but wonder if anyone ever is actually going to love me. I mean I know I have my family, but they are terrible at acting like a family, and I don't think I'll ever have any other family which is what terrifies me.
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