BRUUUUUCE

I SAW BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN LAST NIGHT!!!!!! It was my first time ever seeing Bruce in concert, and I'm slightly depressed that it's this late in his career that I saw him for the first time. My dad has been going to see him for 30 years now, and he plans his vacations around where Bruce is touring. The only reason he's been to Europe is because of Bruce. My dad and his girlfriend are going to Denmark this summer just to see him. I'm kind of jealous because I have to stay here and work and watch everybody's houses–Brandon and his girlfriend are going on vacation at the same time. So I'll be left here by myself while my dad gets to see Bruce in Denmark and Sweden.
Anyways, back to last night. It was the best concert I've ever seen. I don't understand how a man at any age can go for three and a half hours giving it his all into every song he plays. I think he has some sort of super power. I was exhausted by the end of The River, but I suppose it helps that he's been doing this for years so he probably has some sort of stamina built up. I don't really know how he does it. He came down onto the floor a couple times, and Bruce walked 10 feet away from me. That in itself was a pretty amazing experience. I mean being within 10 feet of BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me. If only I knew someone who was as stoked about Bruce Springsteen to tell this to besides my dad who was there and has actually touched Bruce. In honesty though my dad is right when he calls Bruce Springsteen our lord and savior because he pretty much is. I was really questioning what I wanted to do with my life last night because how could I ever be as great as Bruce Springsteen. It doesn't matter how many songs I write or how many shows I do, I'll never be like that, but I suppose I could just be me instead. I think that I could still somehow be something that people need maybe not the way people need Springsteen, but in a smaller scale. I could make a difference with my music, and that's really all I want to achieve. 

Old Friends

Today, I hung out with one of my friends from high school. It's been a long time since I've seen her. Since she moved in with her boyfriend our senior year I haven't talked to her until the start of this school year. It was really nice to see her especially because she's one of the few people who knows everything about me and doesn't judge me for it. I know that I could probably tell her anything and she would still be friends with me. I kinda felt awkward a little bit because her boyfriend was there for a lot of it, and the last time I saw him he didn't like me because he thought I was trying to break them up. Anyways, I don't care what he thinks of me anymore especially after what she told me on Thursday. She called me up to tell me that they were breaking me up and that he's been really abusive towards her. He hasn't hit her, but he shouldn't be treating her the way he does. It makes me really sad honestly. I know she's a much better person than she thinks. Although she does seem happier and more confident than she used to be, but I don't really know for sure. I know the main reason she's staying with him is because we've known him for so long. Also she's liked him for a really long time. I hope she figures out what she wants, and she gets that for herself. I know she can be more than she is right now. 

Roommate Problems

Lately, I've been having problems with my roommate. She's been deliberately rude to my friends and me when we're in the room which isn't that often. She's starting to drive me nuts. This entire quarter she's been in a bad mood in general which I know a lot of it was because she was so sick so I gave her some space and let her have time to herself in our room. I was trying to be considerate of the fact that she wasn't feeling well, but then she asked my friend why I'm never in the room anymore. She even had the stomach flu and said she was going to stay at her sister's until she felt better but she came back the next day while she was still sick. 

Monday night, I took a shower came back to her and her friend in the room which I didn't mind because she's actually nicer to me when her friends are here. I said hi to both of them, and then sat at my desk to do some work. Since they were talking I put some headphones so I could block out their conversation and concentrate on what I was doing. I ended up messaging my friends in our group chat about my parents both texting me about my dog and how I was frustrated with them for it because I can't do a single thing about it until I come home for break. All three of them ended up coming into my room all one at a time on their own. When Natasha came in, my roommate and her friend started to leave. Then Dennis and Becky came in after they left. After a few minutes though my roommate came back in and started blasting her music on laptop. She kept turning it up louder and louder every couple of minutes. It got to the point where I couldn't even hear anyone, but Dennis who was sitting right next to me. After a half an hour of this she finally turned off her music. I know it was her passive aggressive way of telling us she wanted us to leave, but we stayed anyways. I would understand her annoyance with us if we were in there all the time, but that's the second time all quarter they have been there at the same time as her. 

Yesterday, she didn't even acknowledge me all day or say a word to me. I tried smiling at her in the hallway when I walked past her, and she just glared at me. I don't understand what her problem is with me anymore. I also don't get why she seems to think she can do whatever she wants in our room, but to her I don't have the same right. All I can say is I'm glad there's only one quarter left after this one. 

Winter Week Ten

Last Friday, I went with Becky and Dennis to Gasworks Park and to see the Fremont Troll. We walked there from campus, and I told them a bunch of stories about the loser guys that liked me in high school. At one point, Becky asked me about my boyfriend, and I said in response that I didn't want to talk about him because my best friend's mom wanted to give me a brochure about abusive relationships when I was with him. It's true she did want to give me one, but I think my friend stopped her which I'm actually really glad she did because I probably would have cried if that had happened. I just felt extremely awkward after saying that especially since Dennis was there. Maybe if Natasha had been there it wouldn't have been so awkward, but I don't really know. 

Saturday, while I was work Natasha and Dennis came to see me at work like they normally do, but this time they were meeting Dennis' mom there which was pretty awkward too. I didn't know what to do because I was still supposed to be working, and I didn't know what to say to anybody, so I just kept doing my usual prepping for closing routine. I noticed how much his mom seemed to like Natasha, and I couldn't help but think how Natasha is the type of girl that can meet a guy's family and they are going to love her. I, on the other hand, am not that type of girl. I'm not the type of girl a guy brings home to meet his family. I just don't have all those fantastic girlfriend qualities that so many girls seem to have. I'm just kind of there. I don't know how to be that dream girl for someone. It's weird because I haven't thought about this kind of thing for a long time, but now I can't stop thinking about it. It's lame I know, but I can't help but wonder if anyone ever is actually going to love me. I mean I know I have my family, but they are terrible at acting like a family, and I don't think I'll ever have any other family which is what terrifies me.