Beta Anxiety

I got a package in the mail today from my mom. She told me she was sending me one after this weekend when she assessed my belongings in my room. Apparently, I was lacking certain items she thought I needed even though I was just fine with what I had. She sent me a rice cooker without even asking if we could have them in our rooms, and we can't. I guess I can just save it until next year for when I get an apartment.
Also,  I'm sort of questioning my decision to be a music major or even why I came to college in the first place. Don't get me wrong I love it here, but on one hand I'm exhausted all the time, and half the time I feel sick to my stomach due to anxiety. I think I love the people I've met here and that I'm no longer at home anymore. There's so much required that nobody tells you about before you go to college. All this other stuff you have to do besides homework, classes, and getting a job. Right now I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas Break. I don't want to go home, I just want a break. I want to get some decent sleep and have a normal day where my stomach doesn't churn.
On a happier note, my friend Natasha got a beta fish for her room. She named it, Dragon. It's red and very pretty. A guy from the first floor got two betas as well. Both of his betas are the same tank with a divider though. The lady at Petco said the divider could potentially fall down. Natasha and I are expecting his fish to die any day now because of how small the tank is, and the fact that the divider could fall down. 

Cultural Weekend

I've had a pretty busy weekend this weekend. Friday night I went to the laser dome and saw a Journey themed laser light show. It was the first I've taken a public bus, and I managed to do so successfully. I also was with a group, so I just followed what everyone else was doing. We were planning on going to a diner afterwards, but the last bus was leaving in 15 minutes so we weren't able to do so.
Last night, I went to this concert pretty far away. It was a modern orchestra which I thought would mean they were going to play music from video games like I did back home but that was not the case. Instead, they played a bunch of pieces that were hard to get into due to all the dissonance. My friend and I had an interesting time trying to locate the place because first of all the bus dropped us off in a dimly lit area with hardly any people. Google maps tried to make us walk down this dead end street and through some people's backyards to get there, but we decided to take the next street down instead. When finally got to the venue we had to wander around the building in order to find the chapel. The building kind of looked like an old insane asylum. Once we got to the chapel, it was extremely small the audience was probably about fifty people in all. The whole thing kind of had a sixties cafe where people would do spoken word vibe to it. There wasn't anybody smoking, but the guy in front of me reeked of cigarettes.
Today was a little more normal. I went to the Sunday Market for a couple of hours. That was pretty cool. I saw some pretty interesting stuff. I'm pretty proud of how social I've been. Never would I have thought that I would have a weekend where I went did something each day. I feel very accomplished with my college experience so far.

Nineteen is Greater Than Eighteen

Yesterday I had my first birthday in college. It was probably one of the best birthdays I've had. My roommate gave me a cake which I thought was so nice. A few other girls on my floor got me something too. My door got decorated because that's something they do here. There's a birthday committee that decorates your door. I was sad this morning when I saw that part of the decorations had fallen off. I even had multiple people post, "Happy Birthday," on my Facebook wall which hardly ever happens. Quite a few of my friends texted me as well. One of my friends is only about 15 minutes away from here, so I might try to meet up with her to hang out. My dad and his girlfriend came up yesterday, and they're still here today. I'm going to be meeting up with them in about 45 minutes. They took me clothes shopping for my birthday present which I greatly appreciated because I'm lacking very much in the clothes department. They also took me to Fred Meyer's to get some more food. My brother's girlfriend sent up a huge bag for my present. It was pretty heavy too. I had to run through the rain to my room, protecting it as best as I could from getting drenched. When I opened though there was a bunch of food and ten dollars of quarters. I can now do 5 and a half more loads of laundry plus the amount of quarters I already, so I may have enough to last me until Spring Break, we'll see.

Family Disasters

Already finished my first full week of college and am currently on my second. I can't believe that amount of stuff that has happened these past couple of weeks and not all of it has to do with me moving here. My aunt was hospitalized a week or two ago, and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her until recently. I guess she has conversion disorder, and I'm not entirely sure what it is, but she lost her ability to do certain things. Anyways, she's staying with my grandma who is 84 years old, and my grandma is taking care of her. Also, my aunt's son just got in a car wreck yesterday, and he doesn't have any car insurance.
Yesterday, my mom texted me about health insurance for about the 10th time. I guess she just now got my card and wants to mail it to me, so I gave her my address. I also stupidly told her she could visit, so no my mom is visiting me on the weekend of the 24th. I did that on purpose because most of the people in my dorm will be gone. I don't know why the hell I told her she could visit. I guess I assumed she would say she can't, but that unfortunately did not work. So yeah that should be interesting.

So It Begins

Today was my second day of college classes. I feel completely exhausted. I have to get up every morning around 7:15 to get to class at 8, and it's been kicking my ass already after two days. At least Friday I get to sleep in a little bit. I won't have class until 9:30 that day, but I do have to work. I also have to work on Saturday at 10:30. I might have to start napping, but I doubt that will help me fall asleep at night which is what I've been having problems with lately. I don't know why I have to have random bouts of insomnia at the worst possible times in my life. I hate it.
I had to audition yesterday for the orchestra, and I totally bombed it. I honestly can't believe how badly I played. I have never played that song so poorly since I learned it. Even with how terrible it was, I'm still being allowed to play in the orchestra for now. Who knows how long that will last, but I guess I'll just have to make the most of it. 

Orientation

I have now almost been here for a whole week. All the freshmen are moved in, and orientation has been a long and enduring process that isn't even over yet, unfortunately. I just want my classes to start and have a somewhat established schedule already. All this, "Hi, what's your name? Where are you from? What are you majoring in?" BS is starting to get a little old, but I have to admit I'm pretty proud of myself. I've managed to start multiple conversations and get out of my comfort zone quite a bit this week. I've met so many different people that they all have kind of blurred together. Most of them I can't even remember their names.
Tomorrow, we're supposed to do this CityQuest thing where you do some volunteer stuff with your USEM class, but I'm so tired I might skip. Also, I could really stand to practice some more violin. Today was the first I had practiced in at least a week. I have an audition on Monday, but I still don't really know what I'm going to play because it needs to be at least three minutes long, but most of the stuff that I know really well isn't that long. I'll have to figure something out. I know that I have a lot of time on Sunday to practice as well even if I do do go to the thing tomorrow because everyone is going to church on Sunday, but I definitely will not be going.

Move-in Day

So I am now officially in my dorm room and everything. I have a key, and my card that let's me in every building. I'm here early though so I haven't really met anyone yet. Just a few other girls on my floor. My roommate isn't even here yet. Tomorrow I have orientation for my job, and Thursday is when regular freshmen orientation starts. My room is right across the hall from the bathroom which is okay I guess. At least everybody has to walk past my room at some point in the day. I have all my stuff put away and my bed is made. My clothes fit in three drawers. I didn't even put my clothes in the dresser. I just used the drawers attached to my closet. My actual dresser is being used to hold things like my towels and sheets and some books and cosmetics. I have quite a bit of space left over so if I happen to get more things I have somewhere to put them. The only concern I have is my laundry basket. It doesn't fit under my bed or really anywhere out of the way which kind of sucks but oh well I'll live.